Write Love

On January 16, 2010, I felt hopeless. It was the MLK holiday. I had the day off because when you work for a bank, you have every holiday. One of those perks you get when you work for "the man". I was miserable inside, but was getting by....barely. That night I sat on the couch and drank. I drank wine. I drank cheap, red , rot gut, box wine. And I kept drinking because too much was never enough. And like many other nights, the wine was not enough to numb the ache and dread I felt inside. I made a decision that at the time seemed to be a way to escape and finally feel relief.

When I woke up, thank God I woke up, I was somewhere I did not recognize. I was confused and beyond groggy. Paul was with me. I had to answer a series of the same questions. I had to turn in my jewelry and clothes. In return I was given scrubs and socks. I was escorted to a dark room where a stranger was already asleep. I took the other bed which had a blue plastic mat, much like a kindergarten nap mat, and a plastic coated pillow. I fell asleep. I am not sure how much time passed.

When I woke up again, I was scared. I did not understand where I was...but I knew I did not want to be there. My roommate did not want me there either. She yelled at me when I woke up, "You snore! Do you know you snore?" I did not answer her. I knew I snored but was in no mood to deal with someone.....anyone. I wanted out of this place. I wanted out immediately. I was scared and thought I did not belong in this place with people that seemed quite frankly on the edge. This was NOT Celebrity Rehab. But, I was there on a mandatory 72 hour stay. I could not leave. I could not check myself out. I was forced to deal with myself sober.

To Be Continued