Death sux. All the "they are in a better place"...."they are comfortable now" .... It is all bullshit. I am sorry if my language offends anyone....nope, come to think of it, I am not sorry. I am being real. Death truly sux, and I have been dealing with the gut wrenching reality of it too much lately.

Logically I know, we are here for a short time, no promises, etc. But, what about the people that are left behind. We are the walking wounded....forever...No matter what anyone says, it does not get better. You may not think about it every moment, but when you do, you are transported right to the most excruciating moment. And the pain never lessens.

I got my dog Tater on 10/10 in 2002. My Grammie died 4 years ago on 10/10. I got married to the love of my life on 10/10 three years later. Coincidence? I don't know. And, really if I am being honest, do not believe in coincidence. I am lucky though...Tater changed my life....I had a wonderful conversation with Grammie right before she died, and I like to imagine her looking at my life and being so happy that I found a man that is not only the man I love, but my best friend and partner for life.

The reason, now at least, for all this reflection on death is because my dog Tater will be put to sleep tomorrow. I never know how to phrase that finality, ...put down, put to sleep, he will no longer be with us, ...ultimately, I am making the decision to kill him, plain and simple. It is something that unfortunately we are all going to deal with. Not only with our pets, but with our family members. So, I ask, how do we feel? Cope? Make sense of what the world is like?

I find myself asking this question far too much lately. But, in the midst of agony, I remind myself of the shear joy of life. The people and animals in my life have touched me in unmeasurable ways. So, Grammie, I love you. You gave me a spiritual ground and a true love for: charity, knitting, and mischief (another story). Both Khloe and Fenwick, you left me too early, but taught me how to feel true compassion. Kip, my glorious Kip, you taught me free spirited - ness. You left this world too soon. To Newcomb, come on, king of the animal world, love you forever. To Tater, you made me believe in me. I will miss all of you and celebrate you all forever.

Peace, Love, and Rock til you Drop!